Finding strength in the shadows

January 14, 2025 | 8:44 am



By Stephen Oinga

For 12 harrowing years, Jacky (not her real name) endured a life many can only describe as a nightmare, a marriage marked by verbal and physical abuse. What began as a seemingly peaceful union devolved into a suffocating cycle of violence and neglect.

Yet, today, she stands as a beacon of hope, not only for herself, but for countless others who find themselves in the grip of domestic abuse.

Jacky, married with two children from a previous relationship, joined her life with a man who promised stability, but withheld acceptance.

“At first, everything seemed fine,” she recalls, her voice steady, but with sorrow written all over her face as she narrates. “However, he never truly embraced my children as his own.”

The rejection manifested in cruel and tangible ways that she had never imagined. Monthly budgets barely stretched to accommodate her family of five.

“He would only buy enough for himself, me, and the child born out of our union. When the food or supplies ran out because I included my other two children, it would lead to explosive arguments,” she recollects.

The tension reached its apex when Jacky risked a confrontation with her husband about his behaviour. His response was brutal.

“He accused me of prostitution in front of my children,” Jacky recounts. What followed was a traumatic chase through the neighbourhood, her assaulter wielding pliers and a knife.

Fortunately, a group of women intervened, sparing her from what could have been a tragic end of her dear life. The ‘nyumba kumi’ elders, a community policing group, stepped in to intercede.

They advised the dissolution of the marriage, allowing Jacky’s estranged husband to collect his belongings under their supervision.

“He left us with nothing as he took everything, including mattresses, food, even the electricity wiring,” she says. Jacky and her children were left in darkness, but she was finally free.

For a brief year, peace reigned. But in her moment of vulnerability, following her father’s death, Jacky found herself pulling back into the toxic relationship. “He showed up with his family at my father’s burial, and I thought maybe things could change.”

Upon returning to her Kibera home, however, the violence resumed. One incident nearly cost Jacky her livelihood. “He bit my fingers until they almost fell off,” she recalls, with trembling voice.

The attack seemed calculated to rob her of her ability to earn a living through washing clothes, as that was her everyday hustle in Kibera, where the basic amenities are scarce, forcing residents to improvise constantly just to survive.

Jacky’s turning point came when she encountered Dan and Ayugi, social workers from the Saidika Organisation. Through counselling and a support programme for gender-based violence (GBV) survivors, she found the courage to rebuild her life.

“If I had not spoken up, I do not know where I would be today,” she articulates with conviction.

Jacky shared her story during a Corporate Social Responsibility initiative by the Salaries and Remuneration Commission (SRC) in partnership with the Saidika Organisation.

On 31 October 2024, at Kibera’s Little Lion’s Community School, SRC donated food items to GBV survivors, underscoring the importance of collaborative efforts in addressing domestic violence.

As Jacky reflects on her journey, she offers a message of hope: “Healing is possible. Support is out there. You just need to take the first step and speak up.”

Her resilience is a testament to the power of community, the importance of accessible support systems, and the persistent strength of the human spirit.






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